Yesterday I didn’t wake up until I had been revived. I could faintly hear a voice saying “Kate” over and over again. Opening my eyes I felt disorientated. I could see a person there but I didn’t know who it was, where I was or who I was. Then a sweet thick taste. Honey. My mother. Oh no not another bad one I thought as the slow but sure realisation that a hypo had struck again during the night and I needed help.
My head was stuck to the pillow. The bed wet with sweat and unconciousness. I hate being like this and being seen in this state. My daughter had slept over a friends house so wasn’t there to witness it again this time. Mum had a spare key. I don’t keep my front door keys in the lock anymore since a very bad hypo had occurred when my little girl was just a toddler. (She’s 14 now). There have been many inbetween. She had been unable to wake mummy up so because I had told her if ever mummy doesn’t wake up press No 1 on the phone ( quick dial to my mothers) and nanny will answer or 999 if nanny doesn’t. She had pressed the No 1 button and my mother had driven up hearing her granddaughters little voice say I wouldn’t wake. I had left my keys in the front door though so my mother couldn’t get in using her spare key. She had to call my uncle to come to break the window and climb in to open the front door while my mum kept talking through the letterbox to my daughter while I lay unconcious, zombified from a hypo.
As I became more aware of my surroundings yesterday aware of my own bed and bedroom I remembered how vile a hypo like that can be. Helpless. How family/ friends have to deal with me and look after me when I’m found like that. I’m lucky and thankful don’t get me wrong but how I so wish it was unnecessary for them and me. I reached for my blood glucose machine 1.9 mmol was the result. Extremely low especially after all that honey for the past hour or so. My mother is the only person I know that is able to administer honey into my mouth slowly and carefully and revive me without choking me. She’s done it for 33 years though a lot of practice!
My sister had been texting me but I hadn’t replied so she had rung mum to see if she had spoken to me that morning. That’s when the alarm bells starting ringing and mum got in her car and made the 25 minute journey to mine armed with honey, knowing what to expect.
Eventually feeling unsteady I got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I noticed myself in the mirror as I passed. I looked at this thing starring back at me, unrecognisable. Hair sticking up, wavy, messy, matted and stuck fast to the one side. I looked like something from a horror film. Where is the 18 rated sticker?? If I’d had an audition for a part on ‘The Walking Dead’ right then I’d have body bagged it no problem. They could have saved on stage makeup too! It’s horrible to see yourself like that, vulnerable, weak and in need. 36 I am not 136 but boy did I look like an unearthly creature!
Then the questions start. Are you feeling better? Hungry ? Are your sugars coming up ? Do you want a piece of toast? Well I’m making one anyway .. eat this. Everything said is out of love and concern but all I want to do is go back to sleep. Shut out the world. I don’t want to play today.
My daughter rings then, “Hi I’m on my way home but can I have money please as I’m going into town?” I smile, back to normality after recovering from my reality……